A bumbling lawyer left for dead by a gang of ruthless outlaws is rescued by an enigmatic Comanche warrior and becomes a masked vigilante.
Quite why Disney thought that resurrecting a TV show that had stopped running before their parents were born would be irresistible to the children of today I’m not quite sure, but they no doubt assumed that the combination of Johnny Depp and Gore Verbinski would be money in the bank. But rather than Cowboys Of The Caribbean, what we have in The Lone Ranger is a post modern, comic western that shows not one iota of the qualities that made their previous collaboration work so well. Johnny Depp’s dubious casting for the part of Tonto notwithstanding, he displays none of the charisma and charm of Jack Sparrow, instead relying solely on computer-assisted slapstick and endless double takes. The set pieces are bloated, lumbering, joyless affairs and the stars share next to no chemistry, which is catastrophic for this kind of “buddy” movie. But by far the biggest flaw is in the script; a post-modern, jokey approach could have worked, but the fact is that the jokes are all desperately unfunny; not only did I not laugh for the entire length of the film, I didn’t even crack a smile.
The studio bean counters may have been left scratching their heads as to why The Lone Ranger was such a box office flop, but the answer to this is actually quite obvious; it isn’t very good.