Underworld (2003)

underworld

Featuring flowing leather duster coats aplenty, CGI assisted stunts and absurdly pretty people shooting at each other in slow motion through a blue filter, Len Wiseman has obviously watched The Matrix a few too many times. Yet still didn’t understand why it worked. The ideas are hackneyed, the dialogue – and the exposition in particular – is borderline shocking and the completely pompous lack of humour combined with pseudo Gothic sets, crushed velvet and corsets makes Underworld look like a two hour long Evernescence video. It’s difficult for a heterosexual man to hate a film that features Kate Beckinsale in a skin tight rubber catsuit for it’s entire length and it does have some visual flair; in fact teenage Goths probably think it’s the best thing ever made ever. But anyone viewing it with any sense of objectivity will come to the conclusion that it’s all rather dull, clunky and immature.

If it’s a stylish and action packed vampire film you want, Blade II is far superior.

5.5/10

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