Tokyo Gore Police (2008)

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In the near future the Tokyo Police Force has been privatised and face a new enemy in the shape of a gang of shape-shifting cyborgs who can turn their bodies into deadly weapons.

This is one of those films that could’ve been fantastic if it hadn’t been written and directed by someone with the emotional maturity of an autistic ten year old. There are some inventive make up effects and costumes and Eihi (Audition) Shiina is undeniably stunning, but the plot was clearly written by a pair of teenage death metal fans who preceded every concept with the phrase “Wouldn’t it be, like, way cool if THIS happened a-hyuk a-hyuk…!”, The whole thing is just an excuse to dress up hot girls as hookers and schoolgirls in bondage gear and throw buckets of fake blood over them. The characters and plot are next to non-existent and it rips off the visual style of Tetsuo, the TV host from Battle Royale and the satirical adverts from Robocop but forgets to include any semblance of their wit or sophistication. All Yoshihiro Nishimura really brings to the table is the idea that the human body contains garden sprinklers for a circulatory system and some incredibly ham-fisted direction.

Think Planet Terror if it wasn’t funny and had been directed by Comic Book Guy.

1.5/10

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