The Time Machine (2002)


Guy Pearce travels back in time to recreate a half-baked Victorian version of The Butterfly Effect, but when he is thwarted travels forward to find the world has become a dreadful computer generated homage to Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey.

Obviously dismayed by this, he travels to the far future to find the human race has been split into two factions; one the offspring of the extras from Waterworld and Ewoks, the other giant Muppets who round them up in a fashion not unlike that of Planet Of The Apes. Jeremy Irons then shows up to collect his paycheck dressed up as a reject From Battlefield Earth before slinking off, muttering “never again…” and I get the uncontrollable urge to invent a time machine so I can travel to a point in the future after this film has finished. Basically, a classic of English literature has been transformed into a cornball pastiche of every junk sci-fi film of the past 40 years, fronted by an Australian soap actor and a pop star in a see-through top.

H.G. Wells’ The Time Machine was a warning of what would happen to mankind if it abandons literature and learning. This particular The Time Machine is a warning of what happens when Hollywood scriptwriters abandon literature and learning.


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