Jurassic World (2015)

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The theme park has been open to the public for many years now making the idea of cloned dinosaurs seem commonplace, leading to its owners commissioning the creation of a genetically engineered hybrid that is bigger and scarier than anything seen before. Wackiness ensues.

The grimly inevitable Jurassic Park reboot is pretty much exactly what I was expecting; a bigger, badder version of the original film that revels in CGI based carnage at the expense of any intelligent narrative or characterisation. The heroes are Chris Pratt’s impersonation of Patrick Swayze doing Crocodile Dundee and Bryce Dallas Howard’s coldly negligent and barren careerist who only discovers her womanhood after she blows away an animal with a big gun while half of her clothes fall off. The plot is just an excuse to rehash action sequences from blockbusters of the past, pilfering ideas from – of all things – Alien Resurrection and Deep Blue Sea while pretty much re-shooting the monsters versus mercenaries sequence from Aliens in its entirety. The result is something akin to Jaws 3D: The Next Generation. There are no meaningful themes or narrative threads running through it at all and its attempt at an eco-based message is even more tacked on and halfhearted than that of Avatar, meaning that although it was just too noisy to allow me to become bored exactly, I did lose interest at various intervals.

The finale is quite amusing, its climax in particular provoking an obnoxiously loud roar of laughter from me, but on the whole Jurassic World recreates Jurassic Park in all its successes and failures; it manages to breathe life into its reptilian stars without ever quite doing the same for its human ones.

4.5/10

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