Harry Potter returns to clear the name of his friend Hagrid and solve the mystery of the Chamber Of Secrets contained somewhere within the school.
Fair play to J. K. Rowling for becoming a multi multi multi (multi) millionaire by pillaging every fantasy inspired story ever told, but quite why anyone over the age of twelve should be interested in this bag of blindingly obvious genre cliches I have no idea. In its favour, it’s a big improvement over the first film but it’s still just Tolkien does The Famous Five to a Scooby Doo plot. The effects are very good and the performances by a host of old school British Thespians on autopilot are as reliable as you’d expect, but Daniel Radcliffe is still an annoyingly smug little brat and Rupert Grint does nothing but sniffle and yelp like a yappy little dog for the entire duration of the film. There are no surprises at all and by the end the treacle was getting so thick I thought my teeth were going to dissolve in my mouth.
Perfectly adequate for keeping a pre-teen quiet for a couple of hours, but if you’re a card carrying adult I suggest you act your age and WATCH A PROPER FILM.